DVD review: Clone Hunter Often, sci-fi and low budget indie productions go together about as well as chocolate and onions. The high budget demands on special effects eventually hamper the entire story. Clone Hunter is indeed [ ... ] |
What to make of the ending to Inception? So far, my favorite film this year is Christopher Nolanís Inception. Not only does it deliver all the action and thrills expected of a big budget summer blockbuster, but it has inspired endl [ ... ] |
DVD Review: The White Ribbon The White Ribbon is a drama starring Christian Freidl, Ulrich Turkl and Burghart Klaussner. Directed by Michael Haneke. |
DVD Review: Shutter Island The film begins on an ominous note. Eerie strings play as the film fades to white. Soon, a ship appears out of the fog. Cut to a gumshoe, looking and speaking as if he has stepped straight out of a [ ... ] |
| Top 10 Rules for Horror Movies |
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| Written by Trent Daniel |
| Tuesday, 29 June 2010 11:54 |
 As one who has seen way too many horror movies, Iíve learned that there are at least 10 (and probably more) rules that simply should be followed in case one finds his or herself in a horror movie:Never, ever play with an Ouija Board. You might as well be calling The Bad Guy himself and inviting him and his buddies over personally. (The Exorcist; Paranormal Activity). Say you stop at a small-town watering hole/gas station and ask for directions to Camp Woebegone. If all the old geezers and the heavyset lady behind the counter stop what they are doing and stare at you funny, itís a good idea to just go back home. (Examples too countless to mention) Speaking of gas stations, never stop for gas unless it is a well lit, modern Chevron or Exxon with a mega-mart attached. Do not, under any circumstances, stop at any under lit station where the only employee on duty has bad teeth and walks with a limp (Examples again too countless to mention). The killer is never truly dead, no matter how badly he is mauled at the end. If the killer is famous enough to be known on a first name basis, it doesnít matter if he falls out of a space station and crash lands on earth. Heís still kickiní (see Jason, Freddy, Michael). On the other hand, if cornered by the same killer, try telling him youíre his mother/sister/Cousin Louie from Delaware. For some reason, this always throws him (see Jason and Michael again). Never, ever piss off an old gypsy (Drag Me to Hell, Thinner, any werewolf movie). Donít have sex (any 80ís slasher movie). If you are in an isolated situation and one member of your group is a scientist, either kill him or lock him up immediately. The spineless jackass will either be very sympathetic toward the monster offing the rest of your crew or will actually be helping it (Alien; The Thing from Another World). Stay away from the local Sherriff. In a horror movie, the only character with a lower life expectancy rate than a teenager is a cop. Furthermore, if the lead characters try to tell the Sherriff about the gruesome goings on, most likely he 1) doesnít believe them; 2) is in on it; or 3) tries to help, but meets a gory death seconds later (Examples also too countless to mention). If an offer seems too good to be true ($500 to babysit for one night; free lodging for the summer just to watch the elderly lady upstairs; superhot Euro babes wanting to make out with you in private) . . . it is. (House of the Devil; Burnt Offerings; Hostel). If you can think of any more Iíve missed, please let me know. |
| Last Updated on Tuesday, 29 June 2010 12:22 |
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